Thursday, 26 May 2011

Holy Cow... Lip Balm!

At approximately 16:43 (Greenwich Mean Time) I made possibly the finest batch of lip balm the earth has ever seen. That's Right. My hands are shaking as I type this, my breath ragged and I've double and triple checked to confirm that, yes, this is the finest batch of lip balm the earth has ever seen.

Interpol have already contacted me suspecting the lip balm may contain Ambrosia, famed drink of the Gods (it doesn't of course, just the finest Olive oil, Coconut oil, Vitamin E oil, Beeswax and Essential oils) Though their interrogation was uncomfortably thorough, they eventually left somewhat satisfied that I hadn't scaled Mount Olympus to unlock the secrets of Zeus. Though I do have to notify them every time I leave the country which is just as well as I've already booked a flight to the city of chapped lips, Sisimut (somewhere in Greenland) where they will worship me as a deity for bringing these lip balm elixirs.

Just... Awesome!
Whilst all the above is clearly steeped in hyperbole, you'd better believe it was I who prevented last week's Rapture (what else could explain it?) and all after striking up a clandestine agreement with St Peter (God Bless him, he just loves Citrus based beauty products) for exclusivity in all distribution rights for my products in the afterlife. Sorry Harold Camping, maybe next time...

Basically, I've no idea why you're still reading this! Head on over here if you just love the fresh, zingy scent of Orange or here if Lemon is your poison. Purchase the finest tube opposable thumbs can manipulate!

Fondest regards,

Daniel
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6 comments:

  1. Knitful Dezigns26 May 2011 at 16:06

    I LOVE THE WAY YOU WRITE :) its like reading a novel, leaves me wanting more jejeje!!! Congrats on the amazing lip balm! hoping to get my hands on one soon :)

    By the way i loove your new background :)

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  2. Daniel27 May 2011 at 00:13

    Thanks muchly Veronica, re: the background; one of the by products of my soap is that it generates bubbles you see, it just seemed ideal!

    Kate wants to start writing a book about soapmaking which seems a nice idea, though on flip-side I also can't really be bothered so... it's tricky.

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  3. Sue Doran27 May 2011 at 02:38

    Please help me be more decisive, please help my lips be smooth and chap-free, so that I could worship you more and be free of these sins, I have ordered both (you'd better relist!)

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  4. Daniel27 May 2011 at 02:46

    Decide? Why not always buy both? I like your attitude, thanks Sue. I'll get these out to you later today.

    Lip balms now relisted due to incredible demand!

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  5. Karla1 June 2011 at 22:25

    I will need to contact the Etsy CIA to see if they can snitch one for me! :)

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  6. Erika Price7 June 2011 at 00:59

    Ha ha - thanks for the laugh, I love reading your posts! I make lip balms too, but clearly they could never be as heavenly or as interesting as yours are!!! Erika Price Jewelry

    ReplyDelete

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